This Week in Jokes! – Ted Cruz Fires Spokesman

Ted Cruz Fires Spokesman

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This week Ted Cruz fired his spokesman. So if anyone’s looking for three solid weeks of work, the Cruz campaign is hiring.

Ted Cruz

“YOU’RE FIRED!… Did I do that right?”

This week President Obama danced with a 106 year old at the White House. It’s nice to see him finally getting along with John McCain.

This week Jeb Bush dropped out of the election. The good news for Jeb is since he did so poorly, next year he’ll have a great draft pick.

In a debate this week, Ben Carson bragged that he had a made for TV movie made about him. You’d think since he had a made for TV movie made about him that he’d be, you know, a little more made for TV.

This week President Obama asked Congress to close the Guantanamo Bay prison in Cuba, something that Obama has been unable to accomplish for years. Which is a great idea because if you need to get a tough job done, ask Congress.

It’ll be rough having Guantanamo closed. Without it, where is a water boarding enthusiast supposed to vacation?

Ted Cruz

The Guantanamo Bay synchronized waterboarding team practices for the Cuban national tournament.

Cell phone companies are starting to let consumers design their own phones. I know what I want. I want an iPhone that allows me to delete Apple’s apps.

This week Kim Kardashian finally posted the first picture of her new baby. I’m glad she finally did that. I was afraid we were going to let a Kardashian become famous for nothing.

Scientists reported this week that sea levels are rising faster than any time in the past 2800 years. The news vindicates the decision to record sea levels by 800 bc. scientists.