10 Things Only People Who Never Cut Their Toenails Will Understand

1. Always being the best swimmer on your team.


Fins = Speed

2 Having to buy Shaquille O’Neal sized shoes.

3. Ripping all of your socks.

4. When they got so long you couldn’t fit them all into your mouth anymore.


From here on out, everything’s going to be different.

5. Never getting to play kicker on your football team.


“Cut your toenails blockhead!”

6. Your mom telling you she will kick you out of her house if you don’t get them cut.


All of this scolding is making my head SO ITCHY!

7. Everyone mistaking you for a girl.


Just because I have long toenails DOESN’T mean I’m a girl!

8. Being able to chop carrots from the next room.

9. Looking at them and longingly thinking of all the protein your body has lost.

10. That glorious day when you turned from man to beast.