Black Friday & ESPN

Watch the jokes here!

Read the jokes here!

This week millions of Americans went Black Friday shopping. They say Black Friday is the Super Bowl of shopping. Except this time it’s the husbands that ask “Why again do we do this every year?”

Joe’s Crab Shack announced this week that they are adopting a no tipping policy. Which is good. I hate having to calculate how much 5% is.

Seriously Rhonda, how hard is it to fill up my water?

In election news, Hillary Clinton promised this week that she would no longer use the term “illegal immigrants.” Instead she said she will refer to them as “automatic votes.”

In sports news this week Philadelphia 76ers center Jahlil Okafor punched a man to the ground during a street fight in Boston. The fight marked the Sixers first win of the year.

It was reported this week that ESPN lost 3 million subscribers this year. That’s incredible. That’s almost 1 subscriber per ESPN channel.

Tonight on ESPN 34,650 we have live coverage of the Bangladesh spelling bee!

This week scientists said Mars will someday get a ring of its own. At least that’s what its married friends keep telling it.

Also this week scientists issued a report saying that 9 out of every 10 natural disasters are weather related. The other 10% are Nicholas Sparks movies.

Facebook announced this week that they will be giving employees four months of paid parental leave. Facebook says it’s important for parents to have extra time to post pictures of their baby.

It was announced this week that Men in Black 4 will have a female main character. The Neuralyzer will erase all of her memories except for that time you hit on her sister.

“I don’t remember hitting on your sister.”

A man in Massachusetts was arrested this week for having 33 pounds of cocaine in his gym bag. Talk about a runners high. #zing