Mitt Romney Denounces Trump
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This week astronaut Scott Kelly returned to earth after spending nearly one year in space. When he got back Kelly asked “So what has happened since I’ve been gone?”
“Um, well…”
This week former presidential candidate Mitt Romney gave a speech denouncing Donald Trump. I feel like Mitt Romney is like the GOP’s ex-boyfriend. He only comes around to bad mouth their new boyfriend.
A lot of people are also wondering why Mitt Romney waited until after Super Tuesday to denounce Trump, because if you thing about it, denouncing Trump after Super Tuesday is like talking to your daughter about abstinence at her shotgun wedding.
Mitt Romney is just doing what he does best, and that’s making sure that no Republicans win the White House.
Gads. Which student set up the lighting for this speech? He’s got lines all over his face, he looks like he’s peeking between his venetian blinds. You had all morning to get this right. I want names.
This week several newspapers in New Jersey called for governor Chris Christie’s resignation. When Christie heard this he was like “Please, I haven’t had anything to do with Jersey in a year.”
During this week’s Republican debate Donald Trump was criticized for backing Hillary Clinton’s presidential run in 2008. But in his defense, that was like 5 Hillary Clinton’s ago. And 12 Donald Trump’s ago.
Ted Cruz further criticized Trump by saying that Trump has been part of the corruption in Washington for 40 years. Cruz insisted that we need a leader who has only been part of it for 6.
Cruz also said that Republicans should rally around him because his campaign is the only campaign that over & over again has beaten Trump. If by “over & over” you mean 6 out of 19 times, then yeah.
The phrase “How to move to Canada” was Googled 350% more after Trump won Super Tuesday. But then when people realized Trump will probably lose to Hillary, it went up another 300%.
Ben Carson also dropped out this week.
